Today… in this Now … I continue with experiencing an awakening journey of renunciation — sort, declutter, give-away, let go of attachment, choose moment to moment what is truly important, surrender, trust and hold faith.

Occasionally there are opportunities for deep forgiveness. I am moving in mindfulness, sitting in receptive silence, speaking with mentors and counselors, listening to the guidance from within, calling upon support and asking for help, and acting in accordance with collective co-creative energies from without … all toward the higher good.

Simultaneously to hands sorting objects, the embodied, energetic movements of sentiment, tenderness, memory and remembrance, letting go, moving through energy, tears falling, witnessing the emotions and thoughts come and go, living the questions, smiles of transformation and giving thanks. I choose love in full surrender, acceptance of what IS. What is most important? What do I want more than anything else? In the end, when death is near and everything else falls away, all that really matters is love and connection, this great Universal web of the gift of life.

I wish to do the art, service work and play I am called to do in liberation. To love and be loved through deep commitment and loyalty to a values base and my tribe. To dance fully awake and alive in the now of this earthy paradise and to revel in this magnificent explosion of duality, knowing and basking in the bliss of unity and interconnection in the One Green Love.

Kali grins and rests upon my shoulder as I rattle and shake the bones. I ask her, “Where is my home, sweet home? Where is the base from which I will fly my free flag and do the work you guide me to do? Who are my brother and sister spiritual warriors? Will they know and recognize me as their kith and kin? Will I know them and be able to extend trust?” She, the great Shape-Shifter, changes moment to moment. Now she is Aphrodite and beckons with a kiss.

Downsizing to voluntarily simplify, to love my home planet, to lessen my burden so that I can give my gifts and skills without hindrance. I don’t need a lot of this stuff! Does anyone need my kitchen wares? Shall I give them to my new community home, assuming it materializes clearly before me and invites me and my dog companion to enter? The answers will unfold as they are meant to when the time is right. I just need to show up and keep the faith!

My footprint is already small in this 300 sq. ft. studio in Berkeley — three small rooms shared with one young human and one old dog. I like shared simple living and have followed this path for most of my life. I don’t need much in the material realm in order to be happy, but there are material goods that I choose to cherish and to keep close …

• the plant stand carved and wood-burned by my mother and given for my 17th birthday,
• a collection of hand-woven baskets,
• photographs, books and journals,
• a Navajo beaded necklace from the Four Corners and a string of kukui nuts from Big Island, Hawaii,
• paintings and drawings made by Emma,
• extra large, stainless steel pots and bowls to feed many,
• wise woman healer tools and resources….

I will take the best of what serves me well and gives me (and perhaps others, too) pleasure, inner peace and well being. Source will guide my heart and my hands.

I will surely miss sharing a home with my daughter, yet I feel energized and excited as I look ahead into the vision of sharing within an intentional community again. With each thing I let go of, energy is freed up! I am courting an urban permaculture peace project nearby — whether I reside there or not is almost beside the point; I co-create with them regardless. I need a room of my own in order to manage my limitations in solitude, to do my best creative work and deliver skillful service, a garden of love warriors to share, play and work with, a green space to nurture the dirt ancestors in my blood. I am moved by love and a mission to serve The Great Turning. It’s good to trust one’s journey.

Now it’s back to the sorting in mindfulness — a grounding, clarifying practice amidst the treasure trove of a meaningful and rich life.

The inner Goddess of Power and Vision — Prospering Woman — chooses to nurture Hope for our World. She leans into Life and bolsters her faith and trust in Universal forces, operating in alignment with the higher good.

Prospering Woman is embodied in a graceful and joyous dance within the field of unlimited possibilities. She embraces the magic of unexpected surprises. She greets whatever arises with the freshness of beginner’s heart-mind. She is willing to allow herself to be changed by what she experiences and to begin anew.

“The arc of history is longer than human vision. It bends. We abolished slavery, we granted universal suffrage. We have done hard things before. And every time it took a terrible fight between people who could not imagine changing the rules, and those who said, “We already did. We have made the world new.” The hardest part will be to convince yourself of the possibilities, and hang on. If you run out of hope at the end of the day, to rise in the morning and put it on again with your shoes. Hope is the only reason you won’t give in, burn what’s left of the ship and go down with it. The ship of your natural life and your children’s only shot. You have to love that so earnestly — – you, who were born into the Age of Irony.”

Hope; An Owner’s Manual

Look, you might as well know, this thing
is going to take endless repair: rubber bands,
crazy glue, tapioca, the square of the hypotenuse.
Nineteenth century novels. Heartstrings, sunrise:
all of these are useful. Also, feathers.

To keep it humming, sometimes you have to stand
on an incline, where everything looks possible;
on the line you drew yourself. Or in
the grocery line, making faces at a toddler
secretly, over his mother’s shoulder.

You might have to pop the clutch and run
past all the evidence. Past everyone who is
laughing or praying for you. Definitely you don’t
want to go directly to jail, but still, here you go,
passing time, passing strange. Don’t pass this up.

In the worst of times, you will have to pass it off.
Park it and fly by the seat of your pants. With nothing
in the bank, you’ll still want to take the express.
Tiptoe past the dogs of the apocalypse that are sleeping
in the shade of your future. Pay at the window.
Pass your hope like a bad check.
You might still have just enough time. To make a deposit.

~Barbara Kingsolver

lodged between who you are

and who you will be,

is awakened,

befriend this moment.

It will guide you.

Its sweetness is what holds you.

Its ache is what moves you on.

~Mark Nepo/Three Intentions

As I become quiet and mindful, I grow my capacities … for awareness, self-love, strength, resilience, compassion, empathy, confidence, sexiness, personal power, and many others. Quiet gratitude arises and the desire to give back for all the many gifts that have been given to me.

Everything that happens to me supports my intention, even when I do not understand or cannot fully appreciate the messages nor the messengers. Every inner and outer conflict is a growth opportunity and a gift.

I am in flow and manifesting all that I need and desire.  For optimal manifestation, I de-clutter physical and emotional spaces and vehicles to support my forward movements.

I accept WHAT IS and what wants to become. I surrender to mystery and uncertainty. In the not-knowing rests imagination, creativity. I listen and open to guidance from my Abundance Angels and spiritual guides. Fear and resistance are my allies — they point me in directions where I need to go. I listen, yet I do not allow them to overwhelm nor supplant my heart-full courage.

I am letting go of what no longer serves me, my intentions and my vision. I allow space and time to grieve losses and to integrate personal growth opportunities. There is room for healing and forgiveness.

I open my heart-mind to expand into unlimited possibility, the magic of unexpected surprises, and new beginnings.

I place my primary focus on health and co-creation of sustainable well being in service to Life and its Art. Goodness flows from an infinite well of inner peace and love. I trust this journey and welcome the adventure.

I’m thrilled to announce a new wing of Femme Fire Productions in its early stages of development — Clay Artivism.

“Yoga Asana” vase and “Fruit of Knowledge” sculpture

Artivism

Most of my weekdays are now spent at the ceramics studio nearby making clay art and learning, through practice, the meaning of the word “artivism.” The full return to making art and merging it with my activist’s heart has been instrumental to my healing process (more about this topic some other day).

These are exciting and interesting times we are living, and the practice of artivism arises naturally and spontaneously in my being; hence, the work (play) merges seamlessly with the vision and mission of Femme Fire Productions. I’m growing into a passionate Clay Person, and this suits my muddy human feet and Lotus roots indeed.

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about artivism:

Artivist is a portmanteau word combining “art” and “activist“. Frank Berganza has stated: “When one pushes for change, socially, politically, or environmentally, by utilizing their creative ability to communicate in ways of their artistic activity, that shall be known as Artivism”.

Artivist Eve Ensler has stated: “… This passion has all the ingredients of activism, but is charged with the wild creations of art. Artivism — where edges are pushed, imagination is freed, and a new language emerges altogether.” Bruce Lyons has written: “… artivism … promotes the essential understanding that … [humans] … can, through courageous creative expression, experience the unifying power of love when courage harnesses itself to the task of art + social responsibility.”^[1][2][3][4] Artivism developed in recent years while the antiwar and anti-globalization protests emerged and proliferated. In most of the cases artivists attempt to push political agendas by the means of art, but the focus on raising social, environmental and technical awareness, has increased exponentially as people has started to lose faith in politics and the current socioeconomic system.

Upcoming Shows

I’m busy as a bee preparing clay artivism inventory for upcoming shows, and having a blast at the same time! Yeah! Shows include an early September appearance at the Works in Progress (a women’s arts showcase, where I’ll also be reading my poems) and a mid-October show at the Center that hosts the ceramics studio. My pieces will also be included (and available for sale) at the groundbreaking Women’s Congress for Future Generations in Moab, Utah at the end of September (more about this exciting event and my trip to Moab in an upcoming post).

“I Am Enough” hand mirror (hand-built ceramic, hand-etched and hand-painted)
©Femme Fire Productions

A New DIY Online Artivism Outlet

In the very near future, I will have completed all the necessary steps to enable Femme Fire Productions to offer artivism ceramic pieces to you, dear one, in a new online store. Whoo hoo!

Stay tuned to Femme Fire Productions for beautiful products to support your path of self-love and well being.

Born to Sit Under Trees / © Femme Fire Productions

I was born to sit under trees, in a time when trees
Are turned under, tilled into the ground to mulch land
Upon which will be planted gas stations and strip malls

The maiden paints a new canyon or coastline
Her sparkling pallet: volcanoes, earthquakes and hurricanes
Her brush cleaves a hole in the canvas of human life
Nowhere left for her to create
So she covers an old masterpiece, a city, an island, a colony

When the Maiden visits us, we grab up the children and run
Head instinctively for the hills, for the safety of vegetation, trees
Then we grieve, crying our prayers to vast heaven

The wilderness is gentle, after so much shattering glass
And falling concrete
Stationing ourselves in branches
Reaching for the softness
Of one another,
The most solid thing we can find
The trees whisper comforts to us
Remind us that we are born to sit
Under trees, watch the children
Grow as the world falls apart and
Rebuilds its self again
Because we are of the earth
And we, like the earth, can heal

excerpt ~ Caitlin Chero 2010

Tree Love / © Femme Fire Productions

BROWN BEAR
© Donald Rogers | Dreamstime.com

“The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe to match your nature with Nature.”
― Joseph Campbell

Continuing with the intentions shared in my last post, I took another concrete action step this week toward my goal of co-creating a fabulous summer.

Mono Hot Springs Retreat

I booked a week-long stay at the historic Mono Hot Springs Resort (established in 1935). I’ve been dreaming of a wilderness adventure retreat here for several years, with a focus on therapeutic soaking in the abundant hot springs. The wilderness spa and massage are calling to me! For this trip, I chose camping so I can sleep on Mother Gaia and next to the bank of the South Fork of the San Joaquin River, where I’ll hear her gurgling, magical, watery song.

SMALL ANIMAL
© Edward Hunt | Dreamstime.com

Ansel Adams Wilderness

Mono Hot Springs is located in the Ansel Adams Wilderness, which is next to the John Muir Wilderness; both are sandwiched between Yosemite and King’s Canyon National Parks. For a taste of the spectacular beauty of the region, check out Peter Essick’s  “The Mountains That Made The Man,” a National Geographic Magazine photo tribute to Ansel Adams and the craggy California wilderness named in his honor.

BUTTERFLY
© Adrian Jones | Dreamstime.com

Wild Woman Retreat 2013

With the aim of hosting a small group of women to join me for a Wild Woman Retreat at Mono Hot Springs Resort, this will also be a scouting expedition. I’ll be meeting with the owner, checking out the cabins, restaurant and the rest of the facilities. I hold close to my heart-mind a clear and beautiful vision of sharing a transforming retreat experience with a remarkable cadre of women. Do you want to go with me on a Wild Woman Retreat next summer? If so, you’re invited to get in touch and share your excitement!

COYOTE
© Odm | Dreamstime.com

Forever-Wild Bookends

Today, as I marked the September dates for this adventure in my datebook, I noticed also that we’ll celebrate Autumn Equinox (and the end of this most fabulous summer) on the last night of our retreat.  Naturally, the dates were picked without my realizing this when I booked the campsite — they were the first available dates for my preferred site #10. Fitting indeed! Forever-Wild Bookends for my Most Excellent Summer! Summer Solstice resting in the Carson-Iceberg Wilderness and Autumn Equinox soaking in the hot springs and hiking the forest trails of the majestic Ansel Adams Wilderness. How do you touch your inner wilderness landscape? What makes you feel forever wild?

A few focal points of my super wonderful summer are:

• Reaffirm with CONCRETE ACTION STEPS my clear intention to live into the visionary, medicine path of RADICAL SELF-CARE, HEALTH  and WELLNESS — a customized form of optimal, womanly self-love, which ultimately expands outward beyond myself into the world and all those I touch and interact with.
• Spend significant amounts of time on RETREAT (solo and with others, from a few moments a day in meditation to a few week-long adventures) to rejuvenate and seek within.
• Reclaim my Inner Wild Woman. One way is by peering into the reflection of our Gaian paradise and its web of life, of which I am a part and upon which I depend for my sustenance.
• Do daily medicinal practices, including writing in my journal, yoga, walking, and meditation.

Wilderness Camping Expedition

My summer began with a week-long camping expedition into the gloriously wild, rugged and green Stanislaus National Forest (located between Lake Tahoe and Yosemite). The Stanislaus Forest encompasses 898,099 acres on the western slope of the Sierra Nevada mountain range.  Nearly a quarter of the forest is designated “wilderness” (Carson-Iceberg, Emigrant, and Mokelumne Wildernesses) by The Wilderness Act of 1965 (click to see a short video in honor of the Act).

We camped on the North Fork of the Stanislaus River, on the edge of the Carson-Iceberg Wilderness. This place provided a perfect setting to reconnect with the Inner Wild Goddess. Many moments were spent lazily sunning on the rocks and swimming in the river. I brought for reading Henry Miller’s Stand Still Like the Hummingbird and Terry Tempest Williams’ When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations on Voice.

Summer Solstice Morning at Lake Alpine / © Femme Fire Productions

Summer Solstice Celebration

Our celebration of Summer Solstice commenced with a light breakfast at Bear Valley Lodge en route to nearby Lake Alpine, followed by meditation and yoga on the beach.

We delighted in wandering the edge, wading and swimming in the cold water under a hot sun, then enjoyed a picnic lunch on the boulders.

During the afternoon, we hiked the Emigrant Trail and rested near a patch of alpine lilies.

Abundance and Gratitude

Upon our return to base camp, we built a Solstice Fire. Under the clear, starlit sky, we ate Pad Thai (Emma’s favorite) cooked on the camp stove. We gave thanks for this longest day of the year 2012 for its simple joy of light, beauty and warmth.

We drew cards from the Aleister Crowley Tarot and told our stories that arose in response to the cards. I drew the Three of Cups or “Abundance” and affirmed: “Life gives me everything I need in order to live life to the full.” I went to sleep feeling full with contentment, happiness, a light heart and a pleasantly-tired body. This was my best Summer Solstice ever!

• well being,
• ease,
• delight,
• empathy,
• self-love,
• gratitude,
• balance,
• intuition and insight,
• sweet contentment.

There, resting within the core liquid essence,  is the breath of being … rising and falling, receiving and letting go.

My inner landscape is rich and warm, fecund with creativity and magic, dripping with delight — an embodiment of enough bathed in unlimited possibilities, sparkling, powerful and energetic.

In mindfulness, I am my own medicine. I know my purpose and power to serve the vision carried in my heart-mind. Down to the ground of being, I bow in thankfulness.

“Mindful”

Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less

kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle

in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for —
to look, to listen,

to lose myself
inside this soft world —
to instruct myself
over and over

in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,

the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant —
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,

the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help

but grow wise
with such teachings
as these —
the untrimmable light

of the world,
the ocean’s shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?

–Mary Oliver

Photo: Sylwia Nowik | Dreamstime.com

“As we become more inwardly free from our conditioning and our fears, the love and connection that are possible in relationships tend to flow through us more naturally. As our defenses are lowered, our heart opens, and there is a natural desire to give from the generosity of the heart. We discover that genuine happiness in relationships is not a product of having our expectations met or getting what we want but rather it is the consequence of freely giving in order to bring happiness to another.” -- Ezra Bayda, “Giving Through Relationships”

Stepping back in time to Valentine’s Day 1996:  Emma (my daughter) was a year-old toddler then, and we were visiting Twin Oaks, our sister intentional community in the Federation of Egalitarian Communities. We were there to do work-exchange as members of Sandhill Farm community in northeast Missouri. A group of Twin Oakers had made the long trek to visit with us the previous autumn in order to lend a hand with our sorghum harvest season — a major production using primarily hand labor in the fields. This harvest lasts for several weeks and includes the stripping and cutting of cane, loading into wagons to transport to “Sugar Shack” (where the cooking occurs), squeezing cane between mighty rollers to extract its green juice, cooking down the juice into black, nutrient-rich syrup, decanting into jars, and affixing labels for sale.

During our exchange visit, I witnessed Twin Oakers celebrate Valentine’s Day by re-framing it to VALIDATION DAY. Each year, the members make beautiful cards for each member of their community using colored paper, pens, images clipped from magazines, art, poetry, photographs, etc. The cards are displayed in the dining hall for several weeks leading up to the special day. During that period, members write affirmations and words of love and appreciation for the recipient. The cards are then given out on Validation Day as part of a community-wide, heartwarming celebration of love, generosity and connection.

What I especially appreciate about Validation Day is that it affirms the high value of human beings — our greatest and most valuable planetary resource — instead of valuing things/goods/money over people, and it’s a lot of fun, too. Not a single person gets left out, and everyone feels loved. In other words, it is a process to gift each person with the clear consciousness that they are truly seen for the amazing contribution they ARE, rather than using money to buy a thing to express one’s love and appreciation. It’s an element of a paradigm shift from the dominant paradigm of our complex, materialistic and consumerist culture. This alternative way also places high value upon living in voluntary simplicity, homespun crafts and entertainment, sustainable ecology.

This sweet memory led to an experiment in generosity to honor our human worthiness, especially the high worth of women. Yesterday (February 14th), I practiced Validation Day merged with the Gift Economy! I created 14 unique Validation Cards for the women in my weekly Tuesday afternoon Women’s Tea. With the cards spread out in my hand, I walked around the table and invited them to choose their card… saying that each woman would choose the card that was right for her. On the front of each card was a significant word (the recipient’s special word for the day). Some of the words included were hope, believe, powerful, endless possibilities, trust, along with the phrase:

“to love is to recognize yourself in another.”

Inside was a beautiful art photo and words of validation corresponding to the photo, like “you are a majestic child of the Universe.”

We shared our cards, our responses to them, and our stories about our best and worst Valentine’s Day. Collectively, we laughed with delight and also mourned a few losses. This Validation Day was my best because I shared it with my sisters in this way; plus, in the act of creating the cards and then gifting to women, I gave myself perhaps the best Valentine’s gift of all: I affirmed my own self-love, goodness and intrinsic value as a flower of Buddha nature. The infinite love in my heart  happily pours forth in the practice of generosity, gratitude, and intentionally choosing to manifest joy and well being. Happy Validation Day! You are beautiful love.