the community of brothers and sisters who walk in consciousness alongside me, who are willing to share their gifts and teach me what they know about life, love, intimacy, and support me to keep moving forward with their love and kindness;
all the many gifts, changes and personal growth of a full life.
Gaian Guardian Series of ceramic art pieces — plaques and altar platters. These pieces all found homes quickly. However, if you’d like a similar creation customized to your desires, please let me know; and I’ll make it for you. Terms are always negotiable and accessible. I’ll be back to working in the studio in late August and plan to continue working on this series, along with others (Pollinator Project, Our Hands Series, Hand Mirrors and more) that I will share about another time. Stay tuned in and turned on. *laughter*
Life is so delicious, rich, beautiful, precious, abundant.
Up early and waiting for daybreak! A bright candle glowing in remembrance of patience and trust. I plan to spend this morning swimming and sitting in the sun reading The Alphabet and The Goddess: The Conflict Between Word and Image, by Leonard Shlain.
Yeah! July! On my way to visit Groundswell community for the first time this month. They are enthusiastic about meeting me, and I feel a harmonious beginning in community organizing with them. Super excited about meeting the group! Rockin’ the free world in delight!
A new discovery: separation is a form of privilege.
Echoes (Waters, Wright, Mason, Gilmour)
Overhead the albatross
Hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
An echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine.
And no one called us to the land
And no one knows the where’s or why’s.
Something stirs and something tries
Starts to climb toward the light.
Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me.
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand
The best I can.
And no one called us to the land
And no one crosses there alive.
No one speaks and no one tries
No one flies around the sun….
Almost everyday you fall
Upon my waking eyes,
Inviting and inciting me
And through the window in the wall
Come streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning.
And no one sings me lullabyes
And no one makes me close my eyes
So I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky….
Hope, patience, and equanimity are my watch words and teachers this season, as I sit this afternoon in my heart and delve into questions of uncertainty and not knowing, trust, faith, inner peace, and awakened creative forces.
I have been following my heart’s calling, intuition, instincts and passion. They have led me circuitously to receptive waiting and to practice truth-telling and transparency, risk taking in revealing matters of the heart and about my own wounded-healer embodiment. In the past month, there has been this raw, intense passion awakening, mixed with inner conflict, discomfort and restlessness in the sense of newness and aliveness blossoming into what I do not know. A strong, savory stew indeed and one that has been simmering since I was six, when I first began to live underground and in exile within the depths of my being.
Thus, I’ve also felt very vulnerable and uncertain in allowing expression of what is real for me, and I think that’s all okay. Stepping out of my comfort zone to allow change to happen is a good thing. Growing patience while waiting for delayed gratification of desires and unmet needs makes me a more resilient, flexible and ultimately a more loving, compassionate woman. I trust the journey, and I also trust the teacher taking me on this journey / the muse awakening the passion, the yoni-speaking, breaking her chains of exile / the healer who wants to meet me …
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.” ~Rumi
I am in a tender waiting phase now, preparing for major changes and in surrender to the cosmic workings of the Universe.
I circle back to core values around honest and open communication and how that fosters greater mutual understanding, intimacy and cooperation. It is good to trust one’s intuition and speak one’s revelations, especially when there has been a clear, strong resistance to allowing emotional truths to emerge within oneself or to sharing those truths with someone one cares about and wants to know beyond a superficial, casual acquaintance.
Growth and change can be demanding! Recovery is hard work! For a fiery, passionate, action-oriented woman like myself with a well-developed and integrated masculine animus to balance my feminine qualities, opening to trust and receptively waiting with patience has never been easy. Nevertheless, I want to learn these lessons on how to be more receptive and patient. I’m ready to lay down my activist-artist-spiritual warrior’s armor and ways and learn to walk confidently in this gentler, more receptive, tenderness. I embrace wholeheartedly the subtle energies residing in the Beauty Way, my path home.
I give thanks for the loveliness of summer days, lessons in love and a beautiful teacher who teaches me about hope, patience, trust and remembrance that whatever unfolds will be right for this space and time of my life. After a struggle with uncertainty and sadness around potential disappointment, I land in a sweet spot of abiding love, equanimity and contentment with my lot.
No Expectations -> No Attachment to Outcome -> No Disappointment -> No Fear
It’s alright to be a humble, human woman with muddy, imperfect, clay feet… as well as to be a passionate, emotional creature testing myself and my mettle. And it’s also alright to feel this abiding self-love in wholeness. My heart-mind feels easy, beautiful, playful, and fun-loving. I’ll gladly wear this lightness of being within tender, gentle energy any day, even if it means moving through sadness, tears and painful uncertainty, disappointment that stirs up the well of losses. Letting go of suffering back into love and the inner essence of who I am: The Beloved Woman in Beauty, the Lover Waiting for her Lover to Come Home… who imagines the Desired Lover-Healer-Muse is already here, wrapped around the Beloved in his own unique and wonderful way. *smile* I give thanks for Eve Ensler, Rumi, Carl Jung, Victoria Safford, and Zoe Keating.
May this all serve the awakening of my heart and be of service to others.
Hope: Our mission is to plant ourselves at the gates of Hope — not the prudent gates of Optimism, which are somewhat narrower; nor the stalwart, boring gates of Common Sense; nor the strident gates of Self-Righteousness, which creak on shrill and angry hinges (people cannot hear us there; they cannot pass through); nor the cheerful, flimsy garden gate of “Everything is gonna be all right.” But a different, sometimes lonely place, the place of truth-telling, about your own soul first of all and its condition, the place of resistance and defiance, the piece of ground from which you see the world both as it is and as it could be, as it will be; the place from which you glimpse not only struggle, but joy in the struggle. And we stand there, beckoning and calling, telling people what we are seeing, asking people what they see. —Victoria Safford
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity. —Carl Jung
Re-post from Funologist Paxus, dual member of Twin Oaks and Acorn Communities. While I have also been celebrating this win for the right to love whomever we desire and to legally bind them to us in contractual marriage (with all of the societal rights that bestows), if we choose, I agree with Paxus that the work is far from over.
Additionally, I add to his analysis these relevant and timely thoughts:
Last week SCOTUS decided to continue to allow the use of a highly controversial cocktail for death penalty lethal injections. “A closely divided Supreme Court refused Monday to limit states’ use of a controversial execution method that dissenting justices said was akin to “being burned at the stake.”
“We’re outraged that Congress today voted to fast track pollution, rather than the job-creating clean energy we need to address climate change,” said May Boeve, executive director of 350.org. “It’s clear this deal would extend the world’s dependence on fracked gas, forbid our negotiators from ever using trade agreements in the fight against global warming, and make it easier for big polluters to burn carbon while suing anyone who gets in the way. That’s why we’re so disappointed President Obama has taken up the banner for ramming this legislative pollution through the halls of Congress, in a way he never pushed for a climate bill.”
Batman (formerly Triple Threat, formerly Teddy, formerly Laura, formerly Batman, now Batman again thankfully) was the first to tell me in a text moments after the decision. But despite being in the middle of nowhere, various media and even people i did not know spent energy getting me this message of this significant political advancement in the US.
Mass protest was part of the strategy
There are lots of important takeaways from this win. First it is important to look at how far we have come, and how fast. Less than two decades ago, arguably progressive (on social issues) president Bill Clinton signed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which was basically the opposite of the current supreme court ruling, prohibiting the federal government from recognizing gay marriages. This was a popular move in 1996. What happened?
The arch of history is long, and bends towards justice
Certainly, demographics is one factor. A bunch of closed minded anti-marriage-equality folks have died off in the last 20 years. More importantly, many kids have grown up seeing that their gay uncle or lesbian guidance counselor is cool and worthy of legal protection. But remember that social conservatives dominate both houses of congress and the current supreme court. We did not age our way into this significant change.
The work is not yet done
At the front of the list of who gets credit for this change is the gay community itself, which prioritized same-sex marriage as an issue, deemed it winnable, and ran endless legal challenges and referendum to secure this right. They put out a simple, understandable message (“I should get to marry the person I love”) and kept repeating it until people got it. It also helped that after Massachusetts allowed gay marriage in 2004, absolutely nothing happened. (Except that the Red Sox won the World Series for the first time since 1918.) It became harder to pretend that same-sex marriage would result in increased divorces, etc.
Second in my analysis is that the mainstream media (MSM), who generally don’t get credit for doing much right in my book, actually came around on this issue.
I’ve written about how MTV was central in shifting young people’s thinking on gay rights in eastern Europe. And despite Fox News’ endless pandering to the Religious Right’s bigoted refusal to accept marriage equality, basically the rest of the MSM began more favorable coverage of the issue. This is partially about the way they covered the news, but it is more about the stories which got told in various TV shows which then influenced viewers’ thinking. The villainized gay-character depictions have significantly diminished in the last couple of decades and have been replaced by cooler gay characters or at least ones that straight viewers can relate to. My son, Willow, watches the television show Modern Family in which a gay couple gets married and adopts an Asian daughter and raises her. This is the new normal. The idea that gay people should be denied rights because of religious works from 2,000 years ago is as stupid as 8 track tapes. Why would you want to do that?
“Really? Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality (whatever that means) were freedoms? And if intimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie. Expression, sure enough, is a freedom, but anyone in a long-lasting marriage will attest that that happy state constricts, rather than expands, what one can prudently say.”
Conservative Judge Kennedy voted in favor of the decision largely because of the thousands of children across the country who’s parents were not legally allowed to get married under existing prohibitions. This single conservative defector enabled the court to do the right thing in its 5-4 split decision.
The good news is that their ideological blindness will likely once again bite the Republicans in the hind quarters. Immediately after the decision, GOP Presidential hopefuls started coming out against the ruling. Scott Walker, showing is detachment from the national reality is echoing the 2012 GOP platform in calling for a Constitutional amendment to block same sex marriages. This strikes me as a special form of political suicide. Former Pennsylvania senator (and GOP presidential candidate) Rick Santorum said: “Today, 5 unelected judges redefined the foundational unit of society. Now it is the people’s turn to speak.” Clearly Santorum has no ability to read polls. The people have spoken; the judges are simply parroting them.
And as pointed out in the two rings graphic above, there is still tremendous work to do in changing unjust laws across the country. So let’s celebrate this important win and let’s keep organizing.
Jimmy Nelson eloquently speaks on, and documents in his stunning photography, the beauty and mystery of our vanishing indigenous, tribal peoples in this wonderful Ted talk brought to me this morning by the good folks at DailyGood.
Nahko brings “Wash It Away” unplugged with Leah Song, and they also remind me of what’s most important to me.
Suddenly, I feel a sense of clarity on this Sunday morning! Soon (mid-July) I will leave for another solo wilderness adventure in the Sierra mountains to reconnect with my powerful roots. I want to be walking in the forest, sleeping on the ground, bathing in the rushing river, sitting in the sun, working on new writing projects and botanical drawings, and celebrating this bountiful life.
Simply interbeing in the web of evolutionary co-creation and basking in the wonder of it ALL.
Allowing the Inner Dreamer — idealistic, romantic, sometimes naive, visionary — full reign to wilderness dreamwalk under the starry blanket of the cosmos, conjure with Source, and heal in the eternal embrace of beloved Gaia.
No fear. I am in love … a strong, invincible love that inevitably wins over all shadow, blues, all pain.
I wish I knew how
It would feel to be free
I wish I could break
All the chains holdin’ me
I wish I could say
All the things that I should say
Say ’em loud say ’em clear
For the whole ’round world to hear
I wish I could share
All the love that’s in my heart
Remove all the bows
That keep us apart
I wish you could know
What it means to be me
Then you’d see and agree
That everyone should be free
I wish I could give
All I’m longin’ to give
I wish I could live like I’m longing to live
I wish I could do all the things that I can do
And though I’m way over due
I’d be startin’ a new
Well I wish I could be
Like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be
If I found I could fly
Oh I’d soar to the sun
And look down at the sea
Then I’d sing ’cause I’d know yeah
And I’d sing ’cause I’d know yeah
And I’d sing ’cause I’d know
I’d know how it feels
I’d know how it feels to be free
Yeah, yeah I’d know how it feels
Yes, I’d know
I’d know how it feels, how it feels
To be free