Chapter 6 / Freedom & Beauty of Forgiveness
Together, we are covering great territory in our self-love journey, and I hope you are enjoying yourself. It’s time to take a moment and celebrate your discoveries thus far, so please drop into your Self with your breath and just take a moment to offer yourself gratitude for what you’ve accomplished.
The beginning point and ending point in this self-love circle is to look in the mirror, see the Beloved, and embrace your Self with compassion, with love. Affirm your magnificence and the blessed reality of the One each day when you look into Source shining through your eyes.
Acceptance, Trust, Faith, Surrender
We touched briefly upon these subjects earlier in the course, but let’s explore them a bit more. As you know, the voice of your inner Self is the voice of Source. To expand your creativity and generative powers to manifest your visions, allow Source to flow through you and into your endeavors by invoking Her Presence. You can request from Her what you need and/or desire and ask for Her guidance. Listen well to your Inner Self and your promptings and sacred intuitions.
Tuning into your Muse and following Spirit is to surrender to universal forces and open more fully to energetic opportunities. Allow your Self to be guided by your Beloved and follow that guidance, trust your hunches. This will build your faith and your agency in the world. Your creations will be imbued with the power of Source flowing through you.
Goddess is abundant as the Universe and Earth are abundant. You ARE that prosperity and abundance. It is your birthright. The dominant mainstream media and marketing experts would have you believe otherwise — that you are not enough as you are.
To deepen your trust and faith, validate and affirm these truths to your Self often by writing in your journal. You can create mantras and affirmations to chant (or whisper) during meditations. Allow your heart, feelings and inner needs/desires to guide your choices, as well as listening to your head. Seek the balance or the middle way.
Your heart-mind and inner guidance will steer you toward where you want to be. The teachers and resources you need to assist you on your journey will materialize when the time is right. The lessons you need to learn and grow will show up to challenge you. Trust.
Forgiveness is essential to self-love. When you forgive, it is a gift to your Self. Forgive yourself: for what you regret doing and for what you wish you had done, for not being fully yourself and for only being yourself. Self-forgiveness is a cleansing of the soul, washing away guilt and shame. Out of self-forgiveness comes the power to extend forgiveness to others.
When you have been injured, you have the right to feel angry, sad, betrayed, resentful. Understand, accept, and express your feelings because pushing them below the surface only means they will erupt in another place, at another time. You can confront those who have hurt you and tell them how you feel. When that’s impossible or when doing so could harm you or another person, speak to them in your imagination or write a letter that doesn’t get mailed.
Forgiveness does not mean accepting further abuse or continuing destructive relationships. Establish boundaries for what is acceptable to you and make those boundaries clear to others. Hold people accountable for their actions. Justice may right the wrongs, but forgiveness heals the hurts. It’s always the best choice to seek forgiveness beyond justice.
To refuse to forgive is to continue to hurt yourself. Victimized once, your lack of forgiveness keeps you stuck as a victim, holding on to a victim’s identity. Instead, you can choose to claim the identify of one who forgives. In this way, you use the energy that it takes to keep inner monsters at bay to, instead, affirm and embrace life. The healing choice is yours to make.
Think of forgiveness as a powerful survival skill. It helps you find your way through the wilderness of misunderstanding, hurt, resentment, and hatred. Rather than attempting to forget, which often isn’t possible anyway, choose to move on, past remembering to forgiveness.
Like self-love, forgiveness is a lifelong process. Forgive over and over — even for the same offense. No one can make you feel bad. You have the power to choose between getting bitter and feeling better. Take responsibility for your feelings; claim your power. Keep yourself free; forgive.
- Gather your journal, pen and whatever you need; find a place to go inward where you won’t be disturbed. Take a bit of time to ground and center. Write down three affirmations that have to do with three qualities that you like about yourself. Explore how those qualities manifest in your life; where do they show up the most? Would you like to develop them more? If so, how will you do that?
- Is there anything that you need to forgive your Self for? When you are at the sink in the morning, look in the mirror and forgive your Self. Do this every time you can remember to do it, and you’ll see a rise in your level of self-worth and inner peace. Forgive yourself for anything you need to forgive — from minor mistakes to large errors or hurtful actions. After you forgive your Self, smile and tell yourself how wonderful you are. You are strengthening your forgiveness muscles; and, in doing so, you grow your capacity for resilience.
- Is there anyone in your life or in your past that you need to forgive? Make a list of everyone you need to forgive. Decide on what your forgiveness path will be for each and take those steps. Do you need to confront anyone? What needs to happen for you to forgive and move on?
- There is a beautiful practice in Sufism called “The Remembrance.” You do this by sitting quietly and invoking the presence of Source by saying whatever name you use for it, and repeating this quietly to yourself. Goddess… Goddess… Goddess. Simply notice whatever you may feel in your body, or whatever thoughts flit across your consciousness. You are not trying to let go or fix anything; you are simply present to Source and noticing what happens for you. Make this a regular practice each day and notice whatever comes up. You might choose to record this in your journal, or combine this practice with your Morning Pages. Again, choose what works best for you.
- Remember to write your Morning Pages and in your journal.