Love In Relationship / Chapter 8: Love & Marry Your Self

Enthusiasm and thankfulness are infectious, deepening trust and connection. Positive energy provides the most generative base for whatever comes next. Look for the good in what's happening and who people are, then work from there.

Enthusiasm and thankfulness are infectious, deepening trust and connection. Positive energy provides the most generative base for whatever comes next. Look for the good in what’s happening and who people are, then work from there. ~Tree Bressen / Group Works

You are an overflowing cup of love when tapped into Source and self-love. How are you today? Take a moment to breathe and scan your body, your interior. Are you feeling in love with yourself? Is your inner love growing as you spend time with your Self, Goddess, Gaia?

Be patient; with time and practice, your inner fountain of love will overflow. When you’re overflowing with love and good thoughts, good energy, this supports your health and bodily functioning. It also affects everyone around you throughout your day. In growing your self-love, you change the world.

To best support yourself and those whom you love and care for, nurture and love your beautiful Self first. When you imagine your cup and saucer of love, see your Self serving others from the saucer… from the excess overflowing from the cup. Fill your Self up with love, so you are able to rest in ease, abundance, gratitude with a heart-mind in energetic resonance.

Support Network

As you are growing your self-love, it’s important to surround your Self with people who are able and willing to support you. At the beginning of the self-love journey, our self-love can feel new and fragile. You may find that you feel vulnerable in this dimension because of this newness and fragility.

Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Seek out people to spend time with who are able to offer you loving kindness and positive energies. This is a time to set limits and boundaries with those colleagues, friends, and family in your life who are negative, critical, judgmental and are not able to offer you loving vibrations from whatever reason.

This does not mean we avoid or turn a cold shoulder to those who are suffering. Simply be aware of your energy and don’t allow your Self to give to the point of draining your good energy. Some people are energy vampires. We leak energy when we are around certain people or in particular environments.

Be mindful of your energy and your feelings; they are good barometers. The more attuned you become to your inner Self, through the development of your capacity for mindfulness, the more you will know how best to care for your Self in these types of situations. There are times when it is wise to walk away from a relationship, if being engaged with that person is consistently causing you harm.

To honor your Self and your well being fully increases your brilliance and light. As you are that beacon of love and light, others will be impacted and influenced in a good way, simply in response to your good energies. The more compassion we are able to offer to ourselves, the more we have to give to others.

Professional healers and coaches are fabulous support buddies because they can offer you unbiased counsel from a distance. They usually offer a clear sounding board, a good ear, a strong shoulder to lean on, and someone to be accountable to, among many other benefits one gains in a coaching relationship. This helps you make steady, forward movement in growing your capacities and manifesting your dreams and goals.

Yin + YangLove In Relationship

To be in love with your Self, including a commitment to your Inner Goddess, your Muse, and to Gaia, does not exclude deep intimacy, emotional attachment and bonds, perhaps marriage with others. In fact, to first give this type of love and commitment to your Self enables the deepening and strengthening of the love and commitment you are able to give not only to your partner or spouse, but also to everyone in your world.

Because our first experiences of love typically happen in relation to other people, we naturally come to regard relationship as love’s main source. We imagine that others should be a source of perfect love by consistently loving us in just the right way. However, when our relationships fail to deliver the ideal love we long for, we imagine something has gone terribly wrong. Our dashed hopes create and re-activate the wound of the heart and generates grievance against others.

There is an important distinction between absolute and relative love. Ordinary human love is always relative; it can never be consistently absolute. This is because our ability to feel wholeheartedly open to another person fluctuates with the changing conditions and circumstances of each moment.

This ability to be open and give a full “yes” to love is dependent upon many factors, including time and circumstances, but also the chemistry between us, how much each of us is capable of giving and receiving, our limitations and personal patterns, how far along we are in our personal development, how well we communicate, and the list goes on.

Absolute love, on the other hand, shines through us, from that which lies beyond us, the ultimate Source of all. We are channels through which this radiance flows. In flowing through us, it also finds a home with us and becomes our heart-essence. This is our deepest essence, our life’s blood, and we have a natural affinity for the perfect food of love. Every baby reaches out for it from the moment of birth. We cannot help desiring our own nature.

Absolute, unconditional love is not something we can concoct or fabricate. It flows through us naturally when we fully open up our heart — to another person, to life, or to ourselves. When we experience this kind of warmth and openness coming from another, it provides essential nourishment. It helps us experience our own warmth and openness and allows us to recognize the beauty and goodness at the core of our nature.

The warm light of unconditional love awakens the dormant seed potentials of the soul, helps them ripen, blossom, and bear fruit. It fosters the bringing forth of the unique gifts that are ours to offer in this life. A great blessing is conferred when receiving pure love, caring, and recognition from another. It affirms us in being who we are; it allows us to say “yes” to ourselves.

With care and cultivation of your Inner Garden, connection to Source and self-nourishment, you increase your capacity for giving, receiving and allowing absolute love to flow through you.

This constant composting and recycling of your life experiences bears succulent fruit. Take a big bite, savor the taste! Have a juicy, delectable, self-love day!


  1. Gather your journal, pen and whatever you need; find a place to go inward where you won’t be disturbed. Take a bit of time to breathe deeply, ground and center into the present moment. Answer these questions:
  • Who is in your inner circle of support?
  • Do you have enough quality support in your life?
  • If not, where will you find additional support?
  • Where are the areas you would like to grow yourself in the coming year?
  • What will you do to support that inner development and growth?
  • Are there people in your life who bring you toxic and/or negative energy?
  • If so, what can you do to care for yourself in those circumstances?
  1. Assess the relationships in your life and determine which ones are best serving you and which are not. If there are any relationships that are not serving your well being, what will you do to change this? How can you affirm, celebrate and nurture your relationships?
  1. Practice and write. Spend time in meditation and mindfulness. Tend your Inner Garden.
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