2013 with February almost gone, camellias and daffodils in full bloom, and this blog has been neglected! But not forgotten, as I’ve immersed myself in healing practices, exploratory dialogues, and a deeper connection with Spirit over the past six months or so. My intention is to raise inner awareness, deepen intuition, build resilience and strength in preparation for major changes and transitions on the spring horizon. After 18 years of single motherhood and cohabitation with my brilliant daughter Emma, she is ready to try out her wings in the world. This is an exciting year for our little family of three, including Jimmy our Wonder Dog.
Today… in this Now … I continue with experiencing an awakening journey of renunciation — sort, declutter, give-away, let go of attachment, choose moment to moment what is truly important, surrender, trust and hold faith.
Occasionally there are opportunities for deep forgiveness. I am moving in mindfulness, sitting in receptive silence, speaking with mentors and counselors, listening to the guidance from within, calling upon support and asking for help, and acting in accordance with collective co-creative energies from without … all toward the higher good.
Simultaneously to hands sorting objects, the embodied, energetic movements of sentiment, tenderness, memory and remembrance, letting go, moving through energy, tears falling, witnessing the emotions and thoughts come and go, living the questions, smiles of transformation and giving thanks. I choose love in full surrender, acceptance of what IS. What is most important? What do I want more than anything else? In the end, when death is near and everything else falls away, all that really matters is love and connection, this great Universal web of the gift of life.
I wish to do the art, service work and play I am called to do in liberation. To love and be loved through deep commitment and loyalty to a values base and my tribe. To dance fully awake and alive in the now of this earthy paradise and to revel in this magnificent explosion of duality, knowing and basking in the bliss of unity and interconnection in the One Green Love.
Kali grins and rests upon my shoulder as I rattle and shake the bones. I ask her, “Where is my home, sweet home? Where is the base from which I will fly my free flag and do the work you guide me to do? Who are my brother and sister spiritual warriors? Will they know and recognize me as their kith and kin? Will I know them and be able to extend trust?” She, the great Shape-Shifter, changes moment to moment. Now she is Aphrodite and beckons with a kiss.
Downsizing to voluntarily simplify, to love my home planet, to lessen my burden so that I can give my gifts and skills without hindrance. I don’t need a lot of this stuff! Does anyone need my kitchen wares? Shall I give them to my new community home, assuming it materializes clearly before me and invites me and my dog companion to enter? The answers will unfold as they are meant to when the time is right. I just need to show up and keep the faith!
My footprint is already small in this 300 sq. ft. studio in Berkeley — three small rooms shared with one young human and one old dog. I like shared simple living and have followed this path for most of my life. I don’t need much in the material realm in order to be happy, but there are material goods that I choose to cherish and to keep close …
- the plant stand carved and wood-burned by my mother and given for my 17th birthday,
- a collection of hand-woven baskets,
- photographs, books and journals,
- a Navajo beaded necklace from the Four Corners and a string of kukui nuts from Big Island, Hawaii,
- paintings and drawings made by Emma,
- extra large, stainless steel pots and bowls to feed many,
- wise woman healer tools and resources….
I will take the best of what serves me well and gives me (and perhaps others, too) pleasure, inner peace and well being. Source will guide my heart and my hands.
I will surely miss sharing a home with my daughter, yet I feel energized and excited as I look ahead into the vision of sharing within an intentional community again. With each thing I let go of, energy is freed up! I am courting an urban permaculture peace project nearby — whether I reside there or not is almost beside the point; I co-create with them regardless. I need a room of my own in order to manage my limitations in solitude, to do my best creative work and deliver skillful service, a garden of love warriors to share, play and work with, a green space to nurture the dirt ancestors in my blood. I am moved by love and a mission to serve The Great Turning. It’s good to trust one’s journey.
Now it’s back to the sorting in mindfulness — a grounding, clarifying practice amidst the treasure trove of a meaningful and rich life.