The Woman As Mana Figure

Goddess Xochiquetzal Generates Harmonious Whole Circles of Life” (Acrylic, 11″ x 14″)

The Woman as Mana Figure

In these primordial mysteries of the Feminine, all of which lie on the natural plane, woman is already the Lady of Transformation. The transformation of matter and of life is subordinated to her, whether as goddess of the water, as “she who promiseth torrents,” she commands the magic of rain; whether as goddess of the earth she commands the fertility of the soil; whether as Lady of the Beasts she governs the fecundity of the animals; or whether as goddess of the blood she ordains the transformation of blood into milk or rain.

But beyond this, she transforms nature into a higher, spiritual principle, which she has power to distill from the natural substrate of matter. As goddess of the food-giving plants, herbs and fruits, she numinously transforms these basic elements into intoxicants and poisons. It is quite evident that the preparation and storage of food taught woman the process of fermentation and the manufacture of intoxicants, and that, as a gatherer and later preparer of herbs, plants and fruits, she was the inventor and guardian of the first healing potions, medicines, and poisons.

…. The transformative character of the Feminine rises from the natural to the spiritual plane. The culture-bringing primordial mysteries culminate in a spiritual reality that completes the mystery character of the Feminine.

Thus there unfolds before us a magnificent world of feminine cultural development, which is at the same time an unfolding of feminine power. In ever new circles of numinous fascination it takes form around the Archetypal Feminine, which as goddess represents the center of the female group and the self of the individual psyche. At first the image of the Feminine as goddess and as Great Round has filled the human horizon. But now, as the development progresses, the earthly-human vehicle of this numinous principle, the woman as a figure endowed with mana, enters the foreground of human consciousness. The Feminine, at first worshiped as an animal — lioness, she-bear, bird, snake — has become a human goddess, beside which the animal stands as an attribute.

“Goddess Bottle” (Ceramic, 10″)

And now, by a corresponding development, the vessel, the central symbol of the Feminine, becomes at length her attribute and instrument. Here, as so often, psychic-symbolic and objective sociological factors work together. The vessel on the one hand is the form within which matter is transformed, whether it be cooked or allowed to ferment; whether it be made into medicine, poison, or intoxicant. But on the other hand — and this is fundamental — this transformation, which is viewed as magical, can only be effected by the woman because she herself, IN HER BODY THAT CORRESPONDS TO THE GREAT GODDESS, is the cauldron of incarnation, birth, and rebirth. And that is why the magical caldron or pot is always in the hand of the female mana figure, the priestess or, later the witch.

The magic cauldron is originally a symbol of fertility belonging to the elementary character of the Feminine. As such it yields food, it is the cornucopia, for example; and even its latest form, the Christian, sublimated Grail, which has almost lost its original significance as the magical kettle of the cult priestess, retains its food-giving aspect. This food-giving quality is imputed to many magical vessels in Irish legend; the Grail itself, as the legend has it, nourished Joseph of Arimathea during his imprisonment, and in the Castle of the Grail it still fulfills this function: “It proceeded to every place in the hall, and as it came before the tables, it filled them with every kind of meal that a man could desire.”

The Great Mother: An Analysis of the Archetype, by Erich Neumann (Translated by Ralph Manheim)


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Self-Marriage / Chapter 12: Love & Marry Your Self

redroseChapter 12 / Self-Marriage

“There is no better way than through the practice of ritual and ceremony to open or awaken one’s psychic ability. … The performance of sacred rites carries one into an altered state of consciousness. That altered state, in turn, exposes one to forces and entities that cannot be experienced in the normal state of human awareness. It introduces one to the invisible realms of reality, and brings about a “shift” from an ordinary perspective of things into an extraordinary one by comparison.

Ritual and ceremony make the world come alive. What was invisible becomes visible. What was dark becomes light. What was mundane becomes sacred. What was commonplace becomes profound.

Ritual and ceremony provide a forum within which we can develop a deeper understanding of our environment, both physically and universally, and help us gain a greater knowledge of the role we play in the scheme of things. They help us fuse ourselves with the Whole; and fusion assists us, at the same time, with our understanding of our own uniqueness as well as our “sameness” with all else. This acts, ultimately, as a stimulus to one becoming more adept at hearing, seeing, thinking, and feeling with the intuition instead of the intellect.”  ~Page Bryant

This love letter is devoted to your self-marriage and your commitment ceremony — the culmination point of this self-love course.

You have been doing your self-love practices, and you are hopefully resting in acceptance, gratitude and self-love. You’ve placed the beautiful decorative and practical elements in your sacred space. You’ve set your intentions, and you’re clear about the commitments you will make to your Self, your Muse, your Beloved.

Ritual ceremony has been a part of human life since humans began living on our planet. The acts of expression of dancing, music, chanting, singing, drumming and other ceremonial expressions bounds heart intention and community. It also serves to connect us to higher spiritual forces. Rituals and ceremonies are right-brain oriented and communicate directly to our Soul. They affect us on a subtle and often subconscious level.

Gratitude to Dharma Comics

Gratitude to Dharma Comics


As we discussed previously, begin your preparations with cleansing — both literally and symbolically. Any sentiment that you feel strongly can be made into a beautiful and poetic ritual for your wedding, so continue to keep this in mind as you prepare.

It’s best to enter into a sacred ritual emotionally balanced with your Self and others. Leave anger, prejudices, fear, doubt, and any other negative feelings behind, even if only for the duration of the ceremony. Hopefully with your forgiveness practices, much longer!

Mentally focus your mind on your reasons for doing this rite of passage and the energy you will be both bringing to the ritual AND which will arise during the ritual. The mind must be free of negative thoughts and ideas.

Become consciously aware of the divine with you and within all that exists. Invoke Source to bring you a sense of being at one with all else. This state is needed to experience the ritual to its fullest potential.

Source flowing through you is the greatest contributor to the success of your sacred ceremony. Your Inner Beloved retains the purest energy generated by the rite, so that the mind-body-spirit may continue to be nourished long after completion.

You may sanctify your space with the smoke of burning sage, scatter flower petals or fresh herbs on the floor, and/or sprinkle rose water near your entrance and altars.

Opening & Closing

Music is usually used to mark the beginning and the end of a wedding ceremony; however, do what works for you, as always! You may also wish to add an opening and closing ritual as well, such as:

  • Lighting (opening) and extinguishing (ending) of altar candles,
  • Unrolling (opening) and rolling (ending) of a rug or runner,
  • Ringing of bells to mark the beginning and/or ending.

You can also open by drawing an energetic field around your sacred space and/or calling in your Spirit Guides and Ancestors. For closing, release the energetic field, guides, and other spirit entities.

Opening & closing may also include helpers and guests. They can be given different tasks and roles. Choose how they will enter and leave your sacred space.

welcome new light

Welcome New Light Beginnings

Ceremony, Rite, Symbol

An ideal ceremony will convey meaning without the use of language; it will consist of movement and/or gesture expressing feeling and belief beyond the limitations of speech — a bow, hug, kiss on the cheek, and handshake are ceremonies of touching deep emotions and conveying meaning (or they can be used as formal or polite expressions). Ceremony can be simple or elaborate.

The spoken word or “rite” is used to convey value and meaning, to evoke images through the use of metaphor, and to elicit commitment. This is why it is important to give voice to your intentions and commitments.

Symbols are holistic and speak to the wholeness of being human. Our psyche and intellect come together in symbols to express the otherwise inexpressible. They have a past, present and future. Symbols can unite our collective memory, our present understanding and our dreams for the future. All of our senses are attuned to symbol.

The integral elements of symbol are unlimited and are bounded only by your experience and creativity. Color, sound, gesture, form, texture, pitch, movement, rhythm, etc. are used to impart a unique quality as “read” by a group or an individual. The inherent power of symbol is in its effectiveness to speak to our innermost depths of individuality, while also binding us to the collective whole of the group and to our Oneness with all.

Western culture interprets ‘sacred’ as only being spiritual or religious.  This was challenged by Durkheim in 1915 when he described ritual as a framework that highlighted an aspect of society that had been set apart or been made special.  He described “sacred” as that to which meaning and values have been ascribed and which takes us beyond the ordinary of life.

Therefore, all human beings have possessions, relationships, and beliefs that are sacred to ourselves or the small group(s) to which we belong,  but may not be perceived as “sacred” to people outside ourselves or our group. This may be especially true concerning self-marriage; it is still considered unconventional.

Listen to your Inner Self to find and create the ceremony just right for you. If you need more inspiration and ideas, there are many good books on ritual and ceremony, along with resources on the Internet.

Marry your Self in celebration, gratitude, commitment, joy and, above all, self-compassion.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhat’s Next: Your Forever Honeymoon

Congratulations! I’m imagining you celebrating your self-love and commitment, as we bring this course to closure. You’re encouraged to renew your self-commitment when the time feels right for you — this can be monthly, quarterly, annually… you’ll know.

You’re also encouraged to be gentle and compassionate with your Self, and to make radical self-care a priority in your life. Let’s take a moment now to acknowledge the journey we’ve shared, along with all the terrain that we covered. Here are just a few reminders of practices and/or topics we shared:

  • Mindfulness & Meditation
  • Self-Love Journal
  • Morning Pages
  • Weekly Self-Love Date
  • The Remembrance
  • Creative Visualization
  • Forgiveness
  • Retreats
  • An Intentional Life

And the list goes on. Thank you for your subscription and sharing this adventure with me. It’s been sweet and beautiful. Continue with your self-love practices to continue to nurture and grow your Self. Each of the practices included here will serve you well.

A short reading list is below. There are many fabulous books available. These books are few excellent ones; they will inspire, assist and delight you. I’ve found each to be worthwhile reading.

There is much to be grateful for and to celebrate together. It is an exciting time to be alive! It is time to raise our power and make positive change in our world! By forming cooperative networks and connections in circles of support and empathy, we can make the world a better place for our children and future ancestors. It is happening now all over the world. It is our time to step forward in our light and shine our love!

Stay in touch with your self-love and worthiness, your Inner God/dess, the beautiful Earth around you, and the One Love. Remember that you are Seen, you are Known, you are Loved.


A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle

Creating True Prosperity, Shakti Gawain

Creative Visualization, Shakti Gawain

Feel Good Naked, Laure Redmond

Finding Earth, Finding Soul, Tim McCartney

Getting Things Done, David Allen

Goddesses in Everywoman, Jean Shinoda Bolen

How We Choose to Be Happy, Rick Foster & Greg Hicks

Invisible Acts of Power, Caroline Myss

I Am A Woman Finding My Voice, Janet Quinn

If Not Now, When?, Stephanie Marston

Love Yourself, Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay

Marry Your Muse, Jan Phillips

Menopausal Years The Wise Woman Way, Susun S. Weed

Quirkyalone, Sasha Cagen

Something More, Sarah Ban Breathnach

Teachings Around the Sacred Wheel, Lynn V. Andrew

The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent, Esther & Jerry Hicks

The Art of Ritual, Beck & Metrick

The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron

The Artist’s Way at Work, Mark Bryan with Julia Cameron & Catherine Allen

The Courage to Be Yourself, Sue Patton Thoele

The Four-Fold Way, Angeles Arrien

The Second Half of Life, Angeles Arrien

The Soul of Money, Lynne Twist

The Woman’s Retreat Book, Jennifer Louden

World As Lover, World As Self, Joanna Macy

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The Power of Intention & Prayer / Chap. 11: Love & Marry Your Self

DSC07783Living with intention means that the fabric of your life is woven from the threads of your conscious choices. Each thread mirrors the level of your awareness at the moment of choice. We are all choosing in every moment, whether we realize it or not. Once you become fully aware of this, you can choose consciously and live intentionally.


An Intentional Life

This is the essence of an Intentional Life — you are living by choice, not by chance. By definition, it is conscious purpose and design, made or done and performed with clarity, purpose and intent. By accepting that your life is about choices, you are accepting responsibility for your life. Don’t let life just happen to you — make life happen! You will notice and feel an actual shift in energy, in your confidence, and in your posture when you do this.

To practice and notice outcomes, set an intention every morning and before doing things. When you set your intentions, the Universe rallies around it to make it happen. Your day is structured around your intentions. However, when you DON’T set an intention, the world sets it for you. Then other people and circumstances/ influences determine how your day goes. To set your intention is to claim your power.

I set my intentions for the day in the morning. I set my intentions at the beginning of each month and reassess them mid-month. When I am doing healing work or conducting a mediation to resolve conflict, I set my intention and also ask the client(s) to set their intention. I bring cooperative intentions of loving kindness to my relationships.

I usually set my intention before going to sleep at night. It goes something like this: “I set my intention to fall asleep peacefully and quickly, sleep deeply through the night, enjoy magical dreams with my healing guides to heal anything within me that needs to be healed. My intention is to release anything that may be holding me back, have Source fill me with abundant love, and to wake up in the morning rejuvenated and full of energy.” I keep a dream journal and sometimes set intentions about dream walking and record dreams upon waking.

DSC07723Self-Marriage Intentions/Commitments

One intention for marrying your Self is to acknowledge, affirm and celebrate your self-love. What will be your other intentions and commitments? How will you honor and commit to your Self, your Muse, your Beloved?

It’s important to spend time in your sacred space meditating upon these choices. Will you say these words to your Self and the Universe out loud? Would you prefer to write them down to keep and cherish? Will someone else read them? Give voice to your intentions and request support from the Universe in supporting and maintaining them.

Intentions are a very useful and important tool for your life. Use this tool often and allow your inner wisdom to guide you. You are continuously cultivating and growing your power to determine the quality of your life. Choose your intentions and commitments with contemplation and self-love.

Follow the call of the eaglePower of Prayer

Do you believe in the healing power of prayer? If so, you may wish to include prayer in your commitment ritual. What would you like to request in your prayer? Is there a favorite prayer you will use or will you make a new one just for this occasion? It doesn’t have to be a laid-out patent prayer; you can use words from your heart-mind.

The effectual fervent prayer is one with power behind it, one that produces results. We have to believe what we pray for in order for our prayers to carry power, not just ‘mouth’ the words. The power of prayer should not be underestimated. All you need do is ask for help and guidance, have faith and trust.

May bright blessings in abundant love rain down upon you.


  1. Think about your intentions, commitments, and prayers for your self-marriage ceremony. Choose. Do what needs to be done to prepare this aspect of ritual.
  2. Begin the practice of setting clear intentions in a way that works for you. Set your intention each morning before you begin your day. Do you also want to set an intention before you go to sleep? Note them in your journal and/or your morning pages in the beginning until this becomes habitual. Notice and track any changes within and without.
  1. Are there larger intentions you would like to set for the coming month? for the season? for the year? Use this amazingly effective tool for self-development and nurture your Intentional Life.
  1. Remember to drink water. Stick to your self-love practices.
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Make Sacred Space / Chapter 10: Love & Marry Your Self

Chapter 10 / Make Sacred Space

Make sacred space to be reminded of who you are — You are Spirit embodied. Do you have a serene, sacred space or sanctuary in your home? Or a special place outdoors, where you go to retreat and spend time with your Beloved? This chapter is devoted to choosing and creating a sacred space for your life and for your wedding ceremony.

Make Sacred Space

Choose an area either within the interior of your home or nearby outdoors. It can be a room, a revamped garage, shed, closet, pantry or a tucked-away corner space away from the main traffic areas. Typically indoors makes your space more readily accessible and available; however, I like having both options available and thus have more than one sacred space. As always, choose what works best for you.

Clean your sacred space thoroughly. To clear your space of stagnant, unwanted energies, perform a ritual smudging (cleanse with smoke from burning sage). This should be repeated periodically after you begin using your sacred space. Give the walls in your space a fresh coat of paint, if needed.

Once your space is clean, cleared and free of clutter, spend some time there in solitude before you introduce any elements or furnishings. Think about what you love. Get in touch with each of your senses when you choose the furniture and decorative items to fill your space.

Smell, sight, sound, touch, taste are all important to honor by adding these elements. For visuals, decorate your space with mirrors, paintings, posters, altars, plants, and items of special significance to you. Bring in wind chimes, a water fountain, CDs and player, and musical instruments to create soothing sounds.

Delight your sense of smell with incense, scented candles, potpourri, or springs of fresh lavender. Honor touch by adding elements with a variety of textures, such as your favorite stuffed animal or teddy bear, crystals, feathers, sea shells, rocks, driftwood, carved statues. Choose a candy dish of peppermints, your favorite herbal teas or juices, the color red to stimulate your taste buds.

Bring in comfortable seating that pleases you. Choose from floor pillows or a mat, a rocking chair, an overstuffed arm chair, or a comfy chaise lounge to stretch out on. It’s especially healthful to bring fresh air and sunshine into your sacred space through a window, if that’s available. Or perhaps your space will be outdoors, with fresh air and sunlight surrounding you.

DSC07693Wedding Plans

Although you will typically spend time in your sacred space in solitude, this doesn’t necessarily hold true for your self-marriage ritual. Will you be alone during your ritual or would you like to invite guests? Would you prefer to perform the ritual yourself or do you want someone to act as priestess or minister?

Would you like to make your self-marriage ceremony extra festive and celebratory? I encourage you to do so! Think about what you would like to eat and drink that day. What are your favorite foods? Gift your Self with that delight and self-love.

Is there special music you would like? Do you want to dance and/or sing? Perhaps you are a musician and would prefer to play your instrument. What other props or items would you like to have available on this special day? Choose from flowers, dried grasses, a glittery wand, confetti… whatever rocks your world and makes you feel special and festive.

What would you like to do following your ritual? Will you go for a walk in the woods, write in your journal, spend time with friends, share a special celebratory meal with your inner Beloved? Do what makes your heart sing and brings you a sense of joy!


  1. Choose and make your sacred space. Decide if this will also be where you hold your self-marriage ritual. If not, choose and make the space of your wedding. Follow the suggestions above for cleansing and clearing the space, along with spending time there in meditation before you begin to decorate with various elements to honor all of your senses. If you already have a space created in your home, does it need cleaning, cleansing, refurbishing?
  1. Continue with your practices, write in your journal and your morning pages.
  1. Spend time dreaming and envisioning the setting and the energetic space for your wedding day. Write about it. Choose the different props, food, music, and everything else needed to complete your wedding plans. Decide whether you will be in solitude or will there be guests? Make up your guest list, if you desire.
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The Beautiful Body Sacred / Chapter 9: Love & Marry Your Self

"Stand Tall" clay figure (9" - SOLD)

“Stand Tall” clay figure (9″)

Chapter 9 / The Beautiful Body Sacred

This course is all about mind-body-spirit connection and whole health. You are building a foundation of self-love and putting your Self and your care first. Today our focus in on your body and body image. How do you feel about your magnificent body and all its glorious parts?

Body Image & Healing Body Hatred

Spending time with women over the course of my life, I’ve heard many women echo oppressive, painful, negative body perceptions. I want you to know that it is possible to find your way back home to your Self from body hatred or negative perceptions of who you are. This is an invitation to discover and embrace your unique beauty, power, vision and serenity. Many amazing and wonderful physical changes can occur as a result of mental transformation.

Do you know that most women have cellulite, even models and celebrities? That breasts naturally droop, and that all buttocks tend to sag a little. Do you realize that hair grows in many places, and it’s natural for our bellies to stick out a little. I learned this by spending time with women in locker rooms at the gym and also skinny-dipping in the land-based communities I lived in.

At the same time, I learned that every woman is beautiful, especially if she is comfortable in her own skin. In fact, when we learn to love and appreciate our bodies — which in turn helps us to live with more of a sense of ease and become shapelier, stronger and more fit — we also gain confidence and self-esteem. We are then happier and more content in our bodies and, thus, happier and content in our lives. This is what is meant by the term mind-body connection.

As you begin to open your mind to new possibilities and start to re-write those old stories from your Inner Critic, your old fears — and old body issues — will also begin to melt away. People will positively respond to your energy and presence, simply because you will be a  more appealing and happier person.

Laure Redmond has an excellent 10-step program in her book Feel Good Naked. You’re encouraged to get this book and follow her program, if this resonates. Or look for other ways that best suit you to support your Self and nurturing your body.

  • Don’t deprive yourself of the foods you love. Treat yourself once a week.
  • Drink Water! Drink More Water — the magical elixir of life! At least 8-10 glasses per day.
  • 10 Minutes of Exercise per day at a minimum.
  • Schedule your fitness appointments IN WRITING each week to stick to them.
  • Don’t stop eating, but do stop eating in front of the TV.
  • Pick a heroine or idol and allow that person to motivate you.
  • Breathe consciously for at least 5 minutes every day. I am encouraging more breath work.
  • Take 30 minutes of private time each day just for your own self-care.
  • Write yourself a love letter once a month and mail it.
  • Walk straight and tall through your life.

If you like, you can add and integrate her 10-step program into the practices you have already learned in this course.  You will know whether this is right for you. Diets simply do not work!

Cleansing, Adornment, Costume

As we approach your self-marriage ceremony, it’s time to touch upon how you will celebrate your body on that day. Walking through the steps of self-marriage is a deep commitment to your whole Self, and especially to your well being and mind-body-spirit connection.

Take the time and make the sacred space to cleanse and purify on the day of your marriage ritual. Perhaps you’ll take a long soak in your bath tub in preparation, or maybe you’ll work out at the gym and go to the sauna or steam room afterward. Do you have special lotions, bath salts or oils you’d like to use on this special occasion? Choose your softest towel, wrap your Self in love and self-care.

How will you adorn your Self for your marriage? Would you like to wear make-up or not? How will you fix your hair? Do you want a bindi or glitter? Choose clothes and accessories that are comfortable and make you feel your most beautiful, sexy and attractive. Or maybe you’ll make this a self-love date and shop for a new outfit to honor your commitment.

You’re also invited and encouraged to find (or make) a token of your commitment. This can be a ring, necklace, tattoo, a photograph, a special rock or found object, whatever you choose.

Bless and honor your Self with abundant choices! Choices grant you freedom! You get to choose exactly how you wish to cleanse and purify, what you will wear, and all the other elements of this festive occasion. Enjoy the process of planning your unique wedding day and be sure to have fun with it!

Remember, too, how well your body serves you — the way your feet carry your weight day in and day out; how your mind processes intricate data, remembers and creates in such an amazing and complex fashion; the gift of being able to touch and hold the ones we love with our hands and arms… the list is long.

I bid you peace and leave you with the Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” Apply this prayer in your thoughts of your magnificent whole Self.


  1. Spend time naked in front of the mirror regularly, preferably each day. When you are looking at your Self, be mindful of the thoughts and feelings that arise. Affirm your body by saying: “I love my body, in all its imperfect and unique glory. My body is beautiful, powerful and serves me well. It serves me well in that ___________________.” Insert in the blank the ways in which each part of your body serves you. For instance, my breasts are beautiful and glorious because they helped me to nourish my baby.
  1. Consider getting Laure Redmond’s book to learn about her 10-step program to a positive body image and then begin to implement the program in your life.
  2. Drink lots of water every day!
  3. Keep up with your practices you’ve learned thus far in this course.
  4. Choose how you will cleanse and adorn your Self on the day of your self-marriage. Decide upon what clothes you will wear and the token of commitment. Gather those elements in preparation.

6. Lay around naked this week and eat chocolate or your favorite succulent fruit naked. Think about whether there is a place where you can be outside naked in Gaia and dance in delight. Go there and do it. Honor and delight in Goddess Source reflected within every part of you.

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Love In Relationship / Chapter 8: Love & Marry Your Self

Enthusiasm and thankfulness are infectious, deepening trust and connection. Positive energy provides the most generative base for whatever comes next. Look for the good in what's happening and who people are, then work from there.

Enthusiasm and thankfulness are infectious, deepening trust and connection. Positive energy provides the most generative base for whatever comes next. Look for the good in what’s happening and who people are, then work from there. ~Tree Bressen / Group Works

You are an overflowing cup of love when tapped into Source and self-love. How are you today? Take a moment to breathe and scan your body, your interior. Are you feeling in love with yourself? Is your inner love growing as you spend time with your Self, Goddess, Gaia?

Be patient; with time and practice, your inner fountain of love will overflow. When you’re overflowing with love and good thoughts, good energy, this supports your health and bodily functioning. It also affects everyone around you throughout your day. In growing your self-love, you change the world.

To best support yourself and those whom you love and care for, nurture and love your beautiful Self first. When you imagine your cup and saucer of love, see your Self serving others from the saucer… from the excess overflowing from the cup. Fill your Self up with love, so you are able to rest in ease, abundance, gratitude with a heart-mind in energetic resonance.

Support Network

As you are growing your self-love, it’s important to surround your Self with people who are able and willing to support you. At the beginning of the self-love journey, our self-love can feel new and fragile. You may find that you feel vulnerable in this dimension because of this newness and fragility.

Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Seek out people to spend time with who are able to offer you loving kindness and positive energies. This is a time to set limits and boundaries with those colleagues, friends, and family in your life who are negative, critical, judgmental and are not able to offer you loving vibrations from whatever reason.

This does not mean we avoid or turn a cold shoulder to those who are suffering. Simply be aware of your energy and don’t allow your Self to give to the point of draining your good energy. Some people are energy vampires. We leak energy when we are around certain people or in particular environments.

Be mindful of your energy and your feelings; they are good barometers. The more attuned you become to your inner Self, through the development of your capacity for mindfulness, the more you will know how best to care for your Self in these types of situations. There are times when it is wise to walk away from a relationship, if being engaged with that person is consistently causing you harm.

To honor your Self and your well being fully increases your brilliance and light. As you are that beacon of love and light, others will be impacted and influenced in a good way, simply in response to your good energies. The more compassion we are able to offer to ourselves, the more we have to give to others.

Professional healers and coaches are fabulous support buddies because they can offer you unbiased counsel from a distance. They usually offer a clear sounding board, a good ear, a strong shoulder to lean on, and someone to be accountable to, among many other benefits one gains in a coaching relationship. This helps you make steady, forward movement in growing your capacities and manifesting your dreams and goals.

Yin + YangLove In Relationship

To be in love with your Self, including a commitment to your Inner Goddess, your Muse, and to Gaia, does not exclude deep intimacy, emotional attachment and bonds, perhaps marriage with others. In fact, to first give this type of love and commitment to your Self enables the deepening and strengthening of the love and commitment you are able to give not only to your partner or spouse, but also to everyone in your world.

Because our first experiences of love typically happen in relation to other people, we naturally come to regard relationship as love’s main source. We imagine that others should be a source of perfect love by consistently loving us in just the right way. However, when our relationships fail to deliver the ideal love we long for, we imagine something has gone terribly wrong. Our dashed hopes create and re-activate the wound of the heart and generates grievance against others.

There is an important distinction between absolute and relative love. Ordinary human love is always relative; it can never be consistently absolute. This is because our ability to feel wholeheartedly open to another person fluctuates with the changing conditions and circumstances of each moment.

This ability to be open and give a full “yes” to love is dependent upon many factors, including time and circumstances, but also the chemistry between us, how much each of us is capable of giving and receiving, our limitations and personal patterns, how far along we are in our personal development, how well we communicate, and the list goes on.

Absolute love, on the other hand, shines through us, from that which lies beyond us, the ultimate Source of all. We are channels through which this radiance flows. In flowing through us, it also finds a home with us and becomes our heart-essence. This is our deepest essence, our life’s blood, and we have a natural affinity for the perfect food of love. Every baby reaches out for it from the moment of birth. We cannot help desiring our own nature.

Absolute, unconditional love is not something we can concoct or fabricate. It flows through us naturally when we fully open up our heart — to another person, to life, or to ourselves. When we experience this kind of warmth and openness coming from another, it provides essential nourishment. It helps us experience our own warmth and openness and allows us to recognize the beauty and goodness at the core of our nature.

The warm light of unconditional love awakens the dormant seed potentials of the soul, helps them ripen, blossom, and bear fruit. It fosters the bringing forth of the unique gifts that are ours to offer in this life. A great blessing is conferred when receiving pure love, caring, and recognition from another. It affirms us in being who we are; it allows us to say “yes” to ourselves.

With care and cultivation of your Inner Garden, connection to Source and self-nourishment, you increase your capacity for giving, receiving and allowing absolute love to flow through you.

This constant composting and recycling of your life experiences bears succulent fruit. Take a big bite, savor the taste! Have a juicy, delectable, self-love day!


  1. Gather your journal, pen and whatever you need; find a place to go inward where you won’t be disturbed. Take a bit of time to breathe deeply, ground and center into the present moment. Answer these questions:
  • Who is in your inner circle of support?
  • Do you have enough quality support in your life?
  • If not, where will you find additional support?
  • Where are the areas you would like to grow yourself in the coming year?
  • What will you do to support that inner development and growth?
  • Are there people in your life who bring you toxic and/or negative energy?
  • If so, what can you do to care for yourself in those circumstances?
  1. Assess the relationships in your life and determine which ones are best serving you and which are not. If there are any relationships that are not serving your well being, what will you do to change this? How can you affirm, celebrate and nurture your relationships?
  1. Practice and write. Spend time in meditation and mindfulness. Tend your Inner Garden.
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Grief as a Path to Joy / Chapter 7: Love & Marry Your Self

DSC08293 (2)Chapter 7 / Grief As A Path To Joy

Who are you in your God/dess Self? What does your Inner Garden look like? What makes your inner Being sing and gives You great meaning, satisfaction, and contentment?

Are you enjoying your self-love journey? What could be improved upon? Are there elements that You are especially enjoying? Has there been any fear and/or negative feelings, thoughts coming up?

Have you experienced deep loss and grief in your life? To live in self-love means also honoring and accepting these challenging aspects of living, too.


Fear and resistance can stop us cold in our tracks! Yet, these are everyday aspects of being alive, and they do serve us well. It is good to listen to our fear, anger, resistance for they give us important information. You don’t want to walk into the fire because you don’t wish to get burnt.

However, resistance and fear can also point the way to our greatest learning and personal growth. Most of us would prefer to rest in comfort and security rather than risk and stretch ourselves in transition and change. So it is excellent to notice and listen to these inner voices and feelings, and it is helpful not to give them too much energy and focus.

DSC07965Instead, ask your Source for guidance, listen and shift your energy to your vision and love. Don’t allow the fears and whatever resistance you may feel to stop you from following your inner guidance in pursuing your dreams. Ir is our inner saboteur who will fear and resist oftentimes that which our heart most desires, and our resistance can point the way into our greatest awakenings and peak moments.

You consciously choose to manifest the metaphysical energy of your thoughts/feelings/vision/dream into material energy to make your dream real. To accomplish this, you must choose to listen to your inner wisdom and trust that guidance.

In shifting your energy and perspective, you are able to move through your fear and resistance in order to take a step forward. Then you may choose to risk and possibly step out of your comfort zone, but with more of a sense of ease and flow.


To be alive is to suffer loss and sorrow, to grieve and mourn those losses, and to move on so that we may embrace life again. This is the truth of the wheel of birth and death, and we are all on that wheel as One.

I say this not from a distant, detached place. Grief is a very real part of my life because of the significant people in my life who have transitioned. Geographical re-locations of residence also bring loss of place and connection, along with new beginnings and wondrous changes.

It’s important to make space for the process and feelings that accompany any loss, any significant letting go. When we don’t make the time and space for the more challenging feelings that reside within us, they end up erupting and we behave unconsciously. Then we act out these feelings in self-destructive ways and create chaos and upset in our lives.

When you consciously choose to make space to reflect and process your grief about the losses and wounds of your life, you give them acceptance and love. In this way, the grief transforms and opens the way for joy and happiness.

lotusfieldResting at the very bottom of the black well of mourning is a beautiful, bright pool of joy in remembrance — of Source, life energy, memories of good life lessons and connections which made you who you are now.

To touch and embrace your wounded and hurt places, the ways in which you have suffered deepens your love and compassion. To suffer deeply is to touch the depths of love and joy within your being, your Goddess Source. Knowing the meaning and sanctity of death, to claim and own your own death is to awaken to your full life.

You’re encouraged to take some time today to make space for all of who you are and then kiss life! Look into a mirror and give thanks for the gift of your breath and your magnificent heart-mind.


  1. Gather your journal, pen and whatever you need; find a place to go inward where you won’t be disturbed. Take a bit of time to breathe deeply, ground and center into the present moment. Answer these questions and fill in the blanks:
  • What do I fear?
  • What is at the bottom of those fears?
  • Is fear standing in the way of something I want and/or need to do?
  • How would my life be different if I choose to embrace my fear and work with it?
  • When I choose to allow my fear of ____________ to ________________, I _______________.
  • Is there something I feel resistance to doing?
  • What would happen if I choose to move through the resistance and do it anyway?
  1. Get out your calendar and set aside a block of time this week to honor your losses. Perhaps you will choose to do this regularly. During that period of time, do the following:
  • Bring your journal & pen, a candle, pillow & blanket, water for drinking, tissues or cloth, comfort items.
  • Go to your safe space, breathe, ground and center.
  • Allow your Self to think about your losses, give them space, feel whatever feelings are there, allow them to move through you.
  • Cry, wail, moan, yell, punch your pillow… do whatever feels right to honor and process your feelings.
  • I like to go to the wilderness and scream sometimes while I throw rocks in the river or break sticks, beat on the ground.
  • Once you are done venting, wrap your Self in a big, warm hug.
  • Lay down and rest in the lap of the Goddess for as long as you need to feel calm again.
  • Take out your journal and write about your experience.
  • Continue to invoke Goddess with The Remembrance exercise.
  • Affirm your goodness, worth and deepening self-love.
  • Make sure you drink and nurture yourself afterward.
  1. Write in your journal; do your morning pages.
  2. Make plans for next week’s self-love date.

5. Spend some time in your Inner Garden. Are there memorials you would like to create there for your losses or to remember loved ones who have transitioned? Go ahead and make one or more. Begin to plant flowers, shrubs and trees. Make beautiful and meaningful places in your Inner Garden where you can retreat to whenever you wish and remember.

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Love & Marry Your Self Forever: Chapter 6

Honu, by Lotus

Honu, by Lotus

Chapter 6 / Freedom & Beauty of Forgiveness

Together, we are covering great territory in our self-love journey, and I hope you are enjoying yourself. It’s time to take a moment and celebrate your discoveries thus far, so please drop into your Self with your breath and just take a moment to offer yourself gratitude for what you’ve accomplished.

The beginning point and ending point in this self-love circle is to look in the mirror, see the Beloved, and embrace your Self with compassion, with love.  Affirm your magnificence and the blessed reality of the One each day when you look into Source shining through your eyes.

Acceptance, Trust, Faith, Surrender

We touched briefly upon these subjects earlier in the course, but let’s explore them a bit more. As you know, the voice of your inner Self is the voice of Source. To expand your creativity and generative powers to manifest your visions, allow Source to flow through you and into your endeavors by invoking Her Presence. You can request from Her what you need and/or desire and ask for Her guidance. Listen well to your Inner Self and your promptings and sacred intuitions.

Tuning into your Muse and following Spirit is to surrender to universal forces and open more fully to energetic opportunities. Allow your Self to be guided by your Beloved and follow that guidance, trust your hunches. This will build your faith and your agency in the world. Your creations will be imbued with the power of Source flowing through you.

Goddess is abundant as the Universe and Earth are abundant. You ARE that prosperity and abundance. It is your birthright. The dominant mainstream media and marketing experts would have you believe otherwise — that you are not enough as you are.

To deepen your trust and faith, validate and affirm these truths to your Self often by writing in your journal. You can create mantras and affirmations to chant (or whisper) during meditations. Allow your heart, feelings and inner needs/desires to guide your choices, as well as listening to your head. Seek the balance or the middle way.

Your heart-mind and inner guidance will steer you toward where you want to be. The teachers and resources you need to assist you on your journey will materialize when the time is right. The lessons you need to learn and grow will show up to challenge you. Trust.


Forgiveness is essential to self-love. When you forgive, it is a gift to your Self. Forgive yourself: for what you regret doing and for what you wish you had done, for not being fully yourself and for only being yourself. Self-forgiveness is a cleansing of the soul, washing away guilt and shame. Out of self-forgiveness comes the power to extend forgiveness to others.

When you have been injured, you have the right to feel angry, sad, betrayed, resentful. Understand, accept, and express your feelings because pushing them below the surface only means they will erupt in another place, at another time. You can confront those who have hurt you and tell them how you feel. When that’s impossible or when doing so could harm you or another person, speak to them in your imagination or write a letter that doesn’t get mailed.

Forgiveness does not mean accepting further abuse or continuing destructive relationships. Establish boundaries for what is acceptable to you and make those boundaries clear to others. Hold people accountable for their actions. Justice may right the wrongs, but forgiveness heals the hurts. It’s always the best choice to seek forgiveness beyond justice.

To refuse to forgive is to continue to hurt yourself. Victimized once, your lack of forgiveness keeps you stuck as a victim, holding on to a victim’s identity. Instead, you can choose to claim the identify of one who forgives. In this way, you use the energy that it takes to keep inner monsters at bay to, instead, affirm and embrace life. The healing choice is yours to make.

Think of forgiveness as a powerful survival skill. It helps you find your way through the wilderness of misunderstanding, hurt, resentment, and hatred. Rather than attempting to forget, which often isn’t possible anyway, choose to move on, past remembering to forgiveness.

Like self-love, forgiveness is a lifelong process. Forgive over and over — even for the same offense. No one can make you feel bad. You have the power to choose between getting bitter and feeling better. Take responsibility for your feelings; claim your power. Keep yourself free; forgive.


  1. Gather your journal, pen and whatever you need; find a place to go inward where you won’t be disturbed. Take a bit of time to ground and center. Write down three affirmations that have to do with three qualities that you like about yourself. Explore how those qualities manifest in your life; where do they show up the most? Would you like to develop them more? If so, how will you do that?
  2. Is there anything that you need to forgive your Self for? When you are at the sink in the morning, look in the mirror and forgive your Self. Do this every time you can remember to do it, and you’ll see a rise in your level of self-worth and inner peace. Forgive yourself for anything you need to forgive — from minor mistakes to large errors or hurtful actions. After you forgive your Self, smile and tell yourself how wonderful you are. You are strengthening your forgiveness muscles; and, in doing so, you grow your capacity for resilience.
  1. Is there anyone in your life or in your past that you need to forgive? Make a list of everyone you need to forgive. Decide on what your forgiveness path will be for each and take those steps. Do you need to confront anyone? What needs to happen for you to forgive and move on?
  2. There is a beautiful practice in Sufism called “The Remembrance.” You do this by sitting quietly and invoking the presence of Source by saying whatever name you use for it, and repeating this quietly to yourself. Goddess… Goddess… Goddess. Simply notice whatever you may feel in your body, or whatever thoughts flit across your consciousness. You are not trying to let go or fix anything; you are simply present to Source and noticing what happens for you. Make this a regular practice each day and notice whatever comes up. You might choose to record this in your journal, or combine this practice with your Morning Pages. Again, choose what works best for you.
  3. Remember to write your Morning Pages and in your journal.
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Love & Marry Your Self Forever: Chapter 5

gaianguardian1Chapter 5 / Self-Love Manifestations

You are a gorgeous being of light, and you are worthy of abundant love and happiness. When you are fully tapped into love with the Beloved, you are in the best love affair of your life. Are you feeling the love? We will further explore self-care practices in today’s segment of your self-love journey.


Weekly Self-Love Date & Gift of Self-Appreciation

You are taking your Self, your creative Goddess inside, on a splendid date this week! Yay! And hopefully for most weeks for the remainder of your Earthwalk sharing love with / in Gaia. This is another self-love activity that is simple, but it will make a big difference in your life because it is an affirmation of your worth and you give it to your Self.

Your self-love date can be at any time and on any day you wish, and it can be for any duration of time. Women especially, but also many men, are hard workers and often caregivers for their family and friends. We are all busy in our lives, and some are overworked and too busy. Do your best to make your self-love date at least an hour. It’s helpful to choose the same day each week and block the time off in your calendar, but you can vary the time, if you wish.

You will be alone on this date. This is a time for you to reconnect with YOU! Choose an activity that makes you happy and delights your inner Child. While you are on your date, give yourself a gift of appreciation. This gift can be small or large; it can be whimsical or practical. You can make it yourself or purchase something you need or desire. It can be as simple as an affirmation.

gaianguardian5Retreat Your Self

In Europe, most people receive five weeks of vacation from employers; in the US, most people are doing well if they receive one or two weeks off from work. This shows up in our health and longevity; stress is a killer and causes all sorts of problems in our internal systems. You are highly encouraged to make retreat a priority in your life. When I speak of retreat, I mean a period of time where you are intentionally setting aside time for your Self and your inner journey. The intention is re-connection with Source and your creativity, vision, life purpose.

A retreat can take the place of your self-love date whenever you wish; they are very similar. On retreat, however, the focus is intentionally inward; while on a self-love date, any type of focus will do as long as you are engaged in an activity that delights you. Retreats can be taken alone, one-on-one with a professional guide or a friend, or in a group. There are professional retreat coaches, like me, who love creating retreats for groups and individuals.

Retreats can be outdoors or indoors, but it’s best to choose a place that you will enjoy and serves your intention and purpose for the retreat. Since the idea is rest and rejuvenation, you want to choose a place where you will feel comfortable. While the focus is on an inward journey, that journey is of your own choosing and can be with any intention or purpose. That said, it’s always best to frame a clear intention before you embark on retreat.

Perhaps you desire a retreat walking alone in a park or wilderness area? Maybe you’d like to retreat in a comfortable bed & breakfast inn with an experienced guide (and a spa) for a luxurious weekend get-away designed especially for you? Perhaps you’d like to share a longer retreat with a group at a retreat space with all the elements carefully crafted and planned, so you receive a shared, ultimate retreat experience?

Group retreat offerings can be a fabulous and affordable way to retreat your Self. You receive guidance from a professional retreat coach, plus community, sharing, and mirroring from the other retreatants in the group. Group retreats can be especially growthful and memorable because they are shared, and human beings are social animals.

Group retreats can be custom-designed for a specific group, or they are created and offered by a retreat coach and open to the public. There are an extraordinary variety of group retreats available for you to seek out and choose from.

Retreats are a fabulous way for you to re-connect with what is truly important in your life and on your self-love journey. Your retreats can be simple or grand (and as often) as you need and desire. The natural world, in the arms of Gaia, is one of the best places to retreat and re-connect. God/dess, reTREAT thyself!

gaianguardian3Creative Visualization

Imagine and visualize that which you desire to create in your life. Simultaneously feel the wonderful feelings you experience when you manifest what you dream of. See yourself already there and feel your joy, power and glory while riding the success pony.

If you like, make a dream collage or vision board, where you draw and/or clip and paste images and words that convey your vision onto poster board. Hang it in a prominent place to regularly see your dream and to remind your Self to do your creative visualization exercises daily, plus take the necessary action steps to make your dream real.

Focus on manifesting one important vision or aspect of your life at a time while you are building your creative visualization muscles. Be gentle with yourself and don’t be discouraged if you don’t see immediate results. Sometimes manifestation happens quickly, even instantly. For other dreams and intentions, it takes time, patience and plenty of concrete, action steps. Remember those little steps add up to big leaps!

The energetic possibilities of the Universe are infinite. It’s crucial to embrace the mystery of the unknown in order to fully tap into the realm of your creative possibilities. It is when you are faced with not-knowing, a challenge, or a question that you become your most creative and insightful.

Learn to enjoy and dance with mystery and uncertainty. Doing so will foster your highest creative potential. Make up vision songs to sing to your Self while you are dancing. You will begin to consciously manifest your visions with the power of your thoughts, feelings, and concrete action steps. The Universe will support you,  as long as you complete tasks that are necessary and do your part. There may be outcomes that appear to be setbacks, and maybe it’s just time to rest and regroup, embrace the Mystery.

You must also expect and believe that your cherished dreams will manifest and that you are worthy of what you desire. This often takes inner growth to move through any subconscious blocks, fears or resistance you may carry that sabotage your dreams. Your comfort journal and your morning pages will help you with this personal growth. You can also seek out a trusted, professional counselor or life coach to assist you in transforming those blocks.

To learn more about creative visualization, visit Shakti Gawain at She’s a wise woman, and I’m eternally grateful for her wisdom. Creative visualization works! I’ve tested it again and again. See for yourself. Creative visualization practice will bring you magical manifestations… just be careful what you ask for because your thoughts and energy are very powerful, said with a smile. 


  1. Gather your journal and pen and whatever you need to be comfortable. Make sure that you won’t be interrupted for a period of time.
  1. Go outside into Nature, if you are able and willing, and try to sit in the sunlight.
  2. Before you begin the fieldwork exercises, ground and center yourself in the Now with your breath, remind yourself that you are a divine child of Goddess and that you are deeply interconnected to the One.
  1. Make a list of places and activities you will enjoy on your weekly self-love dates. Here are some ideas to stimulate your imagination:
  • hiking, swimming, kayaking, canoeing, bicycling
  • shopping for a special gift, a trip to a museum, movie, concert, lecture
  • reading, writing in your journal, arts & crafts, sewing

Pick a day and time for your date this week, mark it in your calendar and stick to it. Set your intention to take your Self on a date every week and keep your commitment to yourself. Your well being is important.

  1. Make a list of things you’d like to give to your Self as gifts of appreciation. You can combine them with your date. For instance, if you’re going to take your Self shopping, buy a gift then. Or if you’ll be going for a hike, you could create a love note, a token, or a special snack that you give yourself along the way. Perhaps sewing is what you wish to do; if so, you could give yourself a gift that fits with that activity. Let your imagination run free when planning your dates and gifts; and also allow yourself moments of spontaneity when your inner voice prompts you. I like to give myself gifts of fruit and nuts, fresh juices, teas & kombucha.
  1. Make a list of places you would like to retreat in. They can be as near as your backyard or far away and exotic. A natural retreat can be as short as a few minutes out of a busy day, a few hours, a day, weekend or much longer. Pick one of the places on your list and make a plan to go there and retreat soon. You will do this retreat alone. Decide how long your retreat will last.

For this first adventure, you may wish to make it a mini-retreat of one to three hours. Determine what activities you’d like to do while on retreat. Here are few ideas to consider: meditation, walking, painting or drawing, writing, soaking in a hot tub or springs, saunas, pools and gyms, drinking a cup of tea with reflection, simply gazing upon the world around you with focus and mindfulness. If you have a desired outcome for the retreat, set that intention and take the action steps necessary to bring that outcome to fruition. It can be a working retreat as well: chop wood, carry water with mindfulness.

  1. Choose a dream or vision of something which you would like to manifest in your life. Start with something relatively simple. Practice creative visualization to make it real. It is best to exercise these muscles several times each day. Make a small vision board to support your manifestation process, if this appeals to you. Write about it in your journal often. Be patient and watch for the magical synchronicity and synergy to happen! Keep track of this in your journal.
  1. Remember to write your morning pages every day.
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Love & Marry Your Self Forever: Chapter 4

c5Chapter 4 / Vanquish Your Inner Critic

So how are you doing so far? Are you enjoying the Course? You’re encouraged to send me your thoughts and any constructive feedback as we progress, and this helps me improve my services and products. I’m generally happy to hear from friends and clients.

Morning Pages

Today we are focusing upon a writing practice that Julia Cameron calls “morning pages” in her excellent and well-known book The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity (you can find her at for more on this subject and her work). Morning pages is a practice of writing three pages each morning upon awakening (or at another time if you prefer), and doing this practice is a precious gift to your Self.

Morning is recommended because you are fresh from your dream state, and your Inner Wise One is more easily accessible. Another reason morning is recommended is because you get all the mind-clutter out and onto the page, where you can see it. You’ll get all your mindful planning done before you begin your day and go out into the world.

You may write whatever comes and is true for you… just let your thoughts and feelings flow out in a stream of consciousness without judgment or censure. Don’t worry about punctuation, grammar and spelling, etc. because this is not for anyone other than your Self. If you don’t feel inspired or feel resistant, begin with writing that down. Just write! The important thing is to write at least three pages most days. Consider making this a pleasurable habit over a beverage you enjoy while sitting in your favorite, comfortable chair… preferably in the sunshine, when available.

You could write these morning pages in your Marry Your Self Forever Journal, but I suggest you have another journal that you keep just for morning pages, so that your comfort journal remains such. Some people like to write their morning pages (or keep a journal) on their computer or write them while they are commuting to and from their jobs. Again, do what works best for you and write them at a time that feels right and makes sense in your schedule. It may turn out that you write your pages at another time during the day, like before bed; that’s perfectly okay, too.

For now, refrain from going back and reading the pages you have written. You may do this at some point in the future, if you choose, once this practice has become firmly established and working its magical healing. Again, I urge you to write whatever is true for you in the moment. Do not share your morning pages with anyone; they are for your eyes and inner healing only. You will be able to write more freely knowing this is a safe space for you to express yourself authentically.

c4Vanquish the Voice of Your Inner Critic

Over the course of time consistently writing your morning pages, you’ll discover that the voice of your inner critic will grow weaker and become less frequent. You will learn to create positive self-talk to counter any self-limiting or self-defeating, critical voices and their messages, as well as changing underlying beliefs that hamper your progress. You’ll also find that this is a way to clarify your thoughts, grow closer to your dreams, visions, life purpose, and make concrete action steps and plans to bring those visions and life purpose into reality with integrity, authenticity and satisfaction.

I have written morning pages consistently for years now and can testify to their effectiveness. I used to be very hard on myself and suffered pain from my own inner critical and self-defeating voices. As a result, I also had a mean girl inside who would periodically react, act out, and sometimes behave with harsh judgment and criticism toward others and speak hurtful words I would later regret.

I’m thrilled to share that the inner critic rarely resides within my being these days. My mean girl has virtually disappeared! I want you to know that this is possible for you, too. In fact, the possibilities are endless and are only limited by our imaginations and consciousness.

Put Your Inner Critic to Work and Give It a Good Purpose

When you encounter your inner critic, be sure to send it out into the world to do some other work. Give your inner critic and saboteur some purpose and good use. This way it will stop limiting YOU and sabotaging your dreams and self-love! Thank your inner critic for whatever service it may have provided to you in the past, request its cooperation with your adult self in the present, and then send it to help preserve the rain forests or work to end poverty. You can even assign the inner critic the more mundane, drudge work of the world, if you like. The important thing is that you are taking action to empower your positive self-talk and develop your sense of worth, while also hopefully enjoying some fun and laughs.

You’ll find writing morning pages a powerful path to personal growth. If you miss a day now and then, that’s fine. Just return to the practice when you can.


  1. Gather your journal and pen (or your computer) and whatever you need to be comfortable. Make sure that you won’t be interrupted for a period of time. This is YOUR time to nurture your Self. Make an attempt to give yourself special YOU time every day, whether you are doing this eCourse or not.
  1. Go outside into Nature, if you are able and willing, and try to sit in the sunlight. It’s well-proven that sunshine is quite beneficial for the health of our bodies; this is also true of spending time communing and attuning with the natural world.
  2. Before you begin the fieldwork exercises, ground your Self — take a few deep breaths, imagine yourself surrounded by healing pink light, center yourself in the Now, remind yourself that you are a divine child of Source (whatever you choose to name this higher power or Force) and that you are deeply interconnected to everything within the web of life.
  1. Answer these questions:
  • When will I write my morning pages?
  • Where will I write my pages?
  • Will I write them in the same place or various places, as I feel moved?
  • Am I willing to commit to writing these pages for at least 12 weeks in order to see concrete results?
  1. Write down the following sentences. As you write each sentence, notice if you hear any critical, negating, or condemning voices inside and jot down whatever you hear below each sentence. Once you are done with writing each sentence and any accompanying inner messages, re-frame the negative self-talk or critical messages in a way that is self-affirming and a validation instead.

Think about where these negative voices or phrases may have come from. Was it sometime during your childhood, in your family, at school, in church, and/or on the playground or later in your life? Write down the origins of your inner critic as you think about this. How has this “story” served you in the past? Can it now serve you in a better way? If you hear a Yes! or a validation in response to a sentence, make a note of those affirming voices and where they came from, too!

Take your time with this exercise, allow the questions to bring forth the inner voices and listen intently. This is an exercise you can repeat with different validating statements.

  • I love myself deeply and truly.
  • I am living from my vision and in prosperity.
  • My inner reality is created moment by moment by the choices that I make.
  • I am beautiful, strong, powerful, tender, vulnerable, soft and unique.
  • Creativity and generative-power are my birthrights, and I utilize them well in fulfilling my needs and desires.
  • Everything I need is available to me, and I have more than what I need to be happy.
  • My happiness is my choice. I choose how I respond to external circumstances and events.
  1. As you move through your days, practice mindfulness in the moment and notice when you hear the judgmental voice of the inner critic and what it says. Immediately acknowledge and then counter that voice with the validations you have created or make one up on the spot. If you begin to notice a repeating refrain or pattern, you can have validations prepared and ready! You’re invited to write down these validations and affirmations and place them around your habitat in places where you’ll see them often. Repeat them regularly to yourself; consider making them into mantras to chant softly as you do other tasks.
  1. If you wish to develop your mindfulness, simply notice and give silent words to what you are doing whenever you can remember to do this and make it a practice. It helps to meditate regularly and often, even if it’s simply for a few minutes or while doing a mundane task like washing the dishes! Try this dish-washing mindfulness meditation of breathing and noticing each moment. Say silently (or out loud) to yourself what is happening in the moment as you wash and rinse, dry and put away the dishes. You might be surprised at what an enjoyable activity and calming respite this simple, everyday task can become! As you wash, say statements like: I am washing the dishes. I feel the warm water. I see and feel the bubbles on my hands. I am now rinsing and see the water over the plate. You get the point, yeah? You can do this with any activity you choose.
  1. Another simple practice while meditating is to notice and let go easily of the thoughts that arise — accept, acknowledge and let them pass as the clouds pass over the sky, without clinging or holding on. As you breathe out, let go by saying, “As I breathe out, I let go.” Then, “As I breathe in, I am love.” With mindfulness practice combined with morning pages, you will gradually quiet and eventually vanquish the voice of your inner critic. At the same time, you will be growing your sense of prosperity and joy.
  1. Write your morning pages.
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